How to maintain a Long-distant Relationship | Medium
The last article I wrote about Mike is how much I admire him. We have been through 2 months long-distant relationship since I’ve been to the Netherlands in January. I would say we’ve done it pretty well, and that is because of the following reasons.
Trust. Independence. Consensual plan.
Trust
No matter you are in a long-distance relationship or not, trust is the most essential element in a stable romantic love. In addition, long-distance relationship relies on trust much more than the regular one, as the couples cannot be a company with each other all the time.
In my case, we trust each other since the first day we met.
As soon as I know how reliable Mike is, I let him know my schedule, my intimate friends, and introduce him to my family. We barely fight, as we know both of us to have confidence that we won’t betray each other. We met during sophomore year, I studied in the College of Arts, and he graduated from the College of Science. Owning to our college, it’s not a 1:1 sex ratio case. Most of my male friends are from junior high, the rest are from Microsoft, and Mike also did the internship there in the same year.
Most couples have arguments on how close they can be with their heterosexual friends. I have to admit Mike does not have any, which I am truly grateful for, moreover, he is not the sociable person I am.
As you can tell, my case differs from his, I enjoy the time I spend with friends, sometimes he did not consent with how late I arrive at home, nevertheless, he respects the freedom of my social life. I tried my best to let him feel secure, for instance, sharing what we’ve done during the meeting or intriguing stories that happens to my friends.
As long as both of you understand the standard, and strictly follow the rules. I believe you will find the most comfortable ways to get along with, on top of that enjoying the life you suppose to have.
Independence
Mike and I are both independent individuals who have self-confidence. In the beginning, I never know that these personalities matter in maintaining a solid connection.
When I heard some couples have break-up issues, I realized independent characteristics benefited our bonds unconsciously. In the first year, Mike and I were busy with our academic performance. After that, we started to do job hunting and entered into the same corp during our senior year. We had our own life, our own goals, and plans for the future.
I may not be as disciplined and restless as he is, I still have many activities that I can do without him. It matters.
Please control the percentage you rely on someone, the only one you can fully trust is yourself.
Of course, I love him so much, however, I still understand the side effect it may bring if human beings consider a romantic relationship as the priority.
The beautiful intrinsic thing about people is that we change.
No one can guarantee he or she will marry you, or even sometimes partners get a divorce after a tragic marriage.
Some couples feel heartbroken after their split up. Deterioration often happens when the other put too much focus on romantic life. It will also take much more time to recover if your lifestyle is too sole and monotonous. My suggestion is to enjoy the time you spend together, but still be a mature adult when you are alone.
Consensus
The final element is the key part. None of the couples can survive a long-distance relationship if they lack consensus.
Although Mike and I have not reached a consensus about where should we long stay, at least we know we want to spend the rest of our life together. He’s going to the States for his master’s degree. I will stay in Taiwan and find a full-time job after coming back from Europe. We plan to further discuss our future after his semester starts and finishes his summer internship.
Honestly speaking, we are just normal couples who have little quarries.
The special untold is that we try to make ourselves a better one, who is qualified to love.
I appreciate how much he transform his characteristic, as I saw one post from his close friend. At the time I found out I should consciously focus on the maintenance for those valuable connections.
